I am no longer an angry feminist

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I gave my life to Jesus friends. I am no longer an angry feminist. Eish, the joy of the Lord overwhelms me.

It was a long weekend mes amies. Long enough for me to find new purpose. Three of my friends were raped, oops, strong words. Almost raped, I mean why exaggerate the gravity of these things? Three different scenarios in the past week alone have sobered me. We need to take things a little more lightly. Calm down mami. In all the three cases, they were asked out by these excuses for human beings-ah, I forget. Fighting that old creation now that the new has come, we were saying- well-meaning gentlemen who they turned down. But you see, some of these women don’t know what they want. You gots to double check that ‘no’, don’t you? Aye, the things I have learned! So these gentlemen went ahead to “show them what they’d be missing out on”. In my anger, the old days of Egypt, I called this rape but now that I have stepped out of the darkness, you don’t let someone make bad decisions. Especially someone you love. You might have to go against their wishes to help them change their minds. Even when they keep telling you to stop, you gots to do what you feel is best for you, I mean, them. They will appreciate later. Don’t you see how grateful we are to our parents?

Anyway, I was still bitter and man-hating back then so for one of them, we decided to report to a person in authority. Retrospectively, this lady was very kind to us. She said she saw us as her own children, especially now that we were telling her about this. And so she told us of her glory days and advised us to dress right, be mindful of the company we keep and where we keep it. The most important lesson though, the “no that means no”. Yes mami, some no’s don’t mean no. I cannot wait for the dictionary updates because the one I have currently only means negating. It’s always a good thing to learn new meanings to words. She even said a prayer for us. Miracles have happened I tell you! My friend avoids her room like a plague because her prince charming occupies the opposite room. There will be no peace for him, yes him, while she is around. And in loving our neighbours as we love ourselves, we gots to help them avoid temptation.

The other one is really a fool. I have not yet told her this, but our beloved gentleman has. The brother says he is nice. I thought, I mean, think so too. He usually invites us for the cell fellowship he leads. I am as perturbed as he is as to why a woman would not be interested in him, even flattered by his interest. He had the nerve, argh- I mean he was kind enough to let my friend know there are not many men like him out there. It is a foolish thing, even despicable, to turn down nice mans. Nice mans doesn’t deserve it after he has ‘proved himself’ to be different from the lot of them mon cherie. I even feel like writing you angry feminists a guide to making peace with some of these things. It would be called Revelations. Scary things, I tell you.

Also, friends, let us not trivialize our lives. There is a war in Syria and Besigye is back to playing cat and mouse with the mafia, sorry, government. Can we direct our anger to these issues? Anyway, I gots to attend to my friend who has been in a terrified stupor since the incident with mans(I know, I know. Melodramatic reaction, ah). Think of sunshine and rainbows and Spongebob.

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11 thoughts on “I am no longer an angry feminist

  1. When we learn to raise our sons (and DAUGHTERS) the right way; apart from video-games, religious dogma, tele-novellas and sundry pop-culture that entrenches gender differentials and objectification of people (both male and female) – then such experiences will become the lost and/or unwritten chapters of history.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What demoralises me the most, are the women that stand on the other side of the crowd and point their fingers at the length of skirts and what has been said and not said. It’s sad. We have an awfully long way to go….

    Liked by 1 person

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