I have written you a love letter


The thing with concluding ‘remarks’ is that they have the pressure of being oh so powerful and memorable and quotable and Abraham Lincolny. That’s why, even though I thought about writing this post for the most part of the day, I’m only getting to it now that Airtel sent me a kind reminder that I’ll soon be offline.

I have summarised this into three amazing lessons(like I said, I picked some preacher vibes yesterday so don’t judge me for my listicle ahbeg) that we should consider while figuring out this thing called life.

1. Speak your truth
And I quote

“Communication works best when we combine appropriateness with authenticity, finding that sweet spot where opinions are not brutally honest but delicately honest.”

-Sheryl Sandberg

2. Understand that truth is not absolute

3.And what I have not talked about; ask for feedback. Always. And openly. When people are comfortable with telling you the truth, it makes it easier to also communicate your truth. Once (this may be totally unrelated but it has sprung to mind) in church, I sat next to Tabi. She’s one of the most honest people I know. And it’s not the kind of forceful honesty where you can call her blunt. She just is. It’s so hard to take offence when she says something. Anyway, so we were in church and I had not seen (or called or texted) her in a long while(which I am still guilty of ) and when told to greet our neighbours-like I should have done now that I’m in pastoral capacity 😉- she turned to me and said;

“But you chic, I miss you. Why haven’t you replied any of my messages?”

I know we all probably get that a lot but I personally find it hard to believe those claims. But I believed her.

I remember suggesting the story irrelevant, right? Well not entirely. Today at work, a heated debate emerged on whether it is okay for women to ask the guys out. Of course feminist Astar said it was while most suggested they throw ‘subtle’ hints and hope to God they are noticed.

[Abraham Lincoln mode activated]

Life is short. We cannot spend it looking over our shoulders wondering who thinks or says what. We cannot keep on folding ourselves in, always trying to play it safe. Hell, it’s not safe anymore. It has never been safe. We cannot swallow our words and go to the grave with them for fear of being judged, fear of being disliked, fear of being thought too emotional, fear of being yourself and not being accepted. Hell, fear is the monster under our beds that we should learn to live with. But never ever sleep with. Don’t go to bed with fear. Don’t. You’ll give birth to insecurities. Own yourself. And please, do not betray your words. Unlearn. Unlearn. Unlearn. And then learn. Own yourself. And please, do not betray your words. You are all they have.




12 thoughts on “I have written you a love letter

    • That ‘fear’ I believe says a lot about the kind of person he is. And I quote;
      “The man who finds me intimidating is the kind of man that I want nothing to do with.” -Chimamanda Adichie (I sort of paraphrased) but you get the point?


  1. Pelumi! This totally did me in… This is powerful! Fear seems safe, it makes us just nestle in our comfort zones, and never want to step out… because a known space is supposedly a safe space, right? But yes, once in a while, we should do the unexpexcted, the extraordinary, the surprising… it sure helps. I once tried the feedback thing, like consciously asked people to tell me what they thought about me (which I once posted about) and it did me good; more good than bad.

    Although it is difficult to decide sometimes which is worse: not saying what we should have, or saying what we shouldnt have, what we must know however is that, there are days when we must think before doing, and days when we must do before thinking. Just because.

    I am glad Airtel atleast did one good thing in a long time, by giving you just the prompter you needed to preach this amazing message! Bless you love! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

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