For Days Like These

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For days like these, when your memory fails to cover the wounds that haven’t healed, because the doctor said some don’t need Band Aid. They need to be left alone, untouched, uncovered…they need to ‘breathe‘ he said. And so you had to ditch your favorite jeans because sometimes, the things you love the most dredge up painful memories. If only you had not been walking too fast, if only the thoughts had quieted just for a moment, maybe you should have stopped to let them settle…but hell, you didn’t.

And on days like these, when you accidentally ram into something while having the same thoughts that caused you to trip, it’s hard to ignore the wounds that haven’t healed isn’t it? You sit aside and give yourself a moment to breathe. You should always remember to breathe when the pain makes you hold your breath a little longer than you should. Breathe baby, breathe. It’s easier to let it out while you breathe. It’s harder today because you were healing, you know you were but you’re back five steps. Maybe it bleeds afresh, but most times it just stares back at you while it pains so bad. The worst part with this is that you can’t explain it, only you can feel the throbbing underneath your fragile skin…the blood rushing trying to repair your brokenness. Your skin feels clammy and warm, gathering parts of you that are alive to ease your pain.

And on days like these, when the only one that gets you is you; there is not much of an escape. You can’t hold the pen because you cradle your knees to your chest. It’s too painful to do anything else other than allow yourself to celebrate your pain. Your wounds haven’t healed, but you are alive. The pain has not killed you yet. Maybe it will one day, who knows what they’ll die of? But you are alive.

woman-crying-on-floor

On days like these, when your memory fails to cover up wounds that haven’t healed, remind yourself; you are alive. Breathe baby, breathe. You are an odd mix of roughneck and delicate soul and today, your delicate soul proportions strip you of all rough and leave you heaving, cursing survival. Allow yourself to breathe on days like these….

note-to-self

Waves | Mr. Probz

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17 thoughts on “For Days Like These

  1. I am having days like this it would seem.
    It helps when I force myself to try and attempt to fathom God’s love for me.

    The shadow, shifts.
    even though it is just for a little bit.
    The shadow still shifts.

    This is why I keep trying to force myself,
    Especially on days like this!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I needed to read this as it speaks to a situation I am currently going through…

    I don’t think there’s an easy way to heal to be honest but I think that leaving the wounds uncovered and allowing yourself to feel the pain when you bang is the best way. I also think it hurts more that way but in order to heal, you need to experience the pinnacle of that pain, understand it and then slowly, it will begin to subside. Then one day, unsuspiciously, you will wake up and the tingle of the pain will be no more. You won’t even notice it and that’s the day you will begin to heal. Unlike covering your wounds with a bandaid, it will hurt even more when you rip it off, scarring you along the way……….therefore breathe…….and let your scars breathe too, no matter how many times you keep bumping them.

    Liked by 1 person

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